Unforgettable

One more day, I've made a whole ritual to try to sleep. As I'm doing since months ago. I've turned off the lights, I've downed blinds and I've tried, without any result, to read. I've tried to listen to music and to count sheep.  I've took tea, lime, hot milk and all that people have recommended me. And your image still not letting me to close my eyes in peace. 
Right now, I would wish wind howling outside to take with him all my tears, my memories and the incessant sound of your voice that haunt me in the most unexpected... and also inopportune times. 
Because I can't think in future now. My future doesn't matter if it isn't by your side. 
What I'm doing with my life? Survive, only that. Wish the day to come to see you, even in distance, for a moment. Because the hole you left inside me, it can't be filled but for you. It has your shape and your name. And nobody else fits there. 
And I hate this. I hate having to lie to myself and to others... and much more, I hate letting you to believe my lies. That you think I don't love you, that I hate you and that, at the end, I've learned how to live without you and don't to miss all your stupid crazes of which I complained... but now, I would give anything to recover it.
Because I miss you. Yeah, you, who has sunk me again and again, who has hurt me more than anyone, who has made me to pour the tears I've swore not to pour never. To you, I miss you.
And this night, I will dream awake again with your kisses and your words. I will remember one more time your touch in my back, your look in my eye, and all that words that I want to listen. I will dream awake with you, and I hope that down again, so we can to cross again in a hallway, at least for a moment.

~Triss