Fear

 They say it's not strange, when we're young, to be afraid. Be afraid of darkness, of ghosts or perhaps of the monster under our bed.  

When I was younger, I haven't got fear. I've never had to look under my be before go to sleep, and I've never needed a small light on in the hallway. Fear comes after, when I grow up. 

Fear of pain, of hurting someone. Fear of someone to hurt me. Fear of getting involved, of them to know me. Fear of falling in love, of falling out love. Fear to illusion. Fear of feeling.

I guess you think I'm not normal at all, and it's impossible to be afraid of feeling. That it has any logic. That you can't be afraid of getting illusion. But it is not something that I've chosen for me. Fear is like love. You feel it, or you don't. There's nothing more. And it makes sense. Of course it does. 

Feeling, falling in love, Getting illusions is take the risk of be hurt. Tate the risk of pain. And don't want to be hurt has a lot of sense. 

But of course, it's also true that don't feel is make a wall around you. And I've always said that walls don't keep people out, but you inside. Although perhaps it's the most sense.

I guess at the end, whether o not sensible, we can't looked up forever. We have to take the risk of living. Don't let the world live without us. Because up, we liked it or not, is built by falls, backstabbing, and painful disappointments. And the only think we can do is learn from them, and return to risk that our eyes shine when we thought in someone, even though, after, that shine became tears. 

~Triss