Take me somewhere new

What can you do when there's no way to go? When anything seems make sense, and fight doesn'r worth. Or even worst, when there's nothing to fight for. Because there's anything to lose, but neither anything to win. When you can't find your dreams, or it's better to keep them, because your legs are tired to run after them. 

Really, in that moments theres no much to do. You can accept it or... well, maybe you can do something. You can wake up morning by morning, look youself at the mirror and convince yourself you won't let the world eat you, at least without have bitten her before. And you can go out and walk, even without any destiny. Without looking backwards. Taking the risk of the unknown. No fears about what you're going to find, because you know it will be better than the absence you left behind. And if you find someone who fill that gap, don't let him go away. Because you'll never know if you'll find him again. And today I'm going to somewhere. Far of this. Close to you.
¿Won't you take me by the hand and take me somewhere new? I don't know who  you are but I'm with you.

#Triss

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend...

When your back burns for all the stab wounds wich had been recieved. When it bleeds for the wounds that will never close. When you realized that trust is gone, and you'll never find it again.
When lies are strung with inexplicable situations. When words to the back are more than words to the face. When promises and secrets didn't worth anything. When there's not any collusion. When you cry without knowing a reason. When you fake smiles for inertia.

When you don't know how to act. When anything seems be correct, you know something has changed forever.  And you can't go back. Things happen, problems appear, and friendship die. And it doesn't matter if you like it or not. You can try to avoid it, fight against it or close your eyes for not see that, but you know it will happen.
Someone can tell you it's fate. I don't believe it that kind of fate. Other could blame the time, which make us change. Neither I think it. It makes no sense to blame anyone beyond ourselves. We change and mature with the time, that's truth, but we are who decide what change and what leave in the past. And in this moment, all of us have to chose. And we have to do it. As we have to accept that someone left us in the past, and we don't matter anymore.
Because friendship, for me, means a lot, but eternity it's not its property. And I've learnt by the hard way and a lot of betrayls that, even we fight for it, it ends.
And sometimes we have to accept that it doesn't worth try to save what is lost forever.

#Triss

Kissin frogs?

And at last, she stopped being a dreamer. She opened the eyes and stopped believeing in fairytales. She accepted that there's not any blu prince to save her and go to his magnificent castle, and that she won't fined anyone kissing frogs. But she also discovered she needn't, and  understood, at least, that walk in safe is overrrated, and risks have their charm. She knew a lot of people won't understand her, and she would be judged without any mercy. She knew people would talk about her, but it doesn't matter. Because she was happy, though really she hadn't anything. She walked on the tightrope without a safety net, feeling the adrenaline in her blood everytime. Following her impulses, ignoring her reason, which tried to warn her of the danger of falling.
She had discovered the charm of half-sentences, hints and double meanings continuous in each word. She had discovered the interest of the forbidden. And she knew what she was doing was considered wrong, strange and inexplicable. But she didn't care, because that was funnier than kissing frogs.

#Triss

I'd tell yes...

I'd tell yes, I'd take the risk, have fun and don't look back. But she isn't so careless, she would try convince herself everything it's ok, and when he get tired, he won't be the one who suffer. And, besided, she might be losing possibilities with other people. I don't know, if she want, she must do it and stop thinking, and if not, then no. But only can say yes or not, there's not other option. What do you say?

                   ~Anie-Pet

And she, without knowing how or why, became brave. She turned her fears away, forgot them and stopped thinking. She said yes, without ever knowing what was answering. She risked to something unknown. And for one time, it didn't mind not to think abour consequences, or rush headlong down just knowing that he was expecting a hard floor. That time, the battle was won by the heart, who makes head forget how to think.
And at the end,
In the end, without knowing hardly counts, he realized he had done the right thing. That it has been enough to plan things and walk safe. That fine line has its charm and life is for living, and not to wait for the storms away, but knowing how to dance beneath.
He realized that no one could live their dreams for her, and if she doen't risk, she would never know what she is able to do.

#Triss

Disenchanted

And one more time, I'm relegated to the background. Though I knew this was going to happen. Of course, I knew it. If it has always been so, I dont know which is the stupid detail that makes me think that this time somethings is going to change. Maybe it was my own imagination, more than your looks. My wish of feeling that they were for me, though I knew that they aren't. O my dreams against your words, looking for hidden meanings in sentences without any double sense.
But of course, you must have much fun. You have enjoyed watching my useless signs, playing with my fantastics illusions. You have got me to say what you wanted to listen, to uncover my heart for you. And then, you have despised it, just as you always do.
And now, you asked me to be something that you can't even put a name. You want me to be a toy, at least while you haven't got anything better to have fun. You ask for a right to everything, but no commitment to anything. And I'm scared about the pact of giving all I have without expecting to receive anything that is implicit in each of your words. And it scares me even more not being able to stop shaking when your voice whispers me from the other side of the phone. Though I know perfectly that that voice will never tell me the words I'm dying to hear. That that words aren't for me, and they'll never be. And I know that it's useless trying, and that I'll go into de lion's den. But you know what happens? I love you, and that's not going to change because of your indifference. And I have spent too much time thinking any unanswered whys, now is the time to start thinking why not do what I want, without thinking of those inevitable consequences.
 Aunque sé perfectamente que esa voz nunca llegará a decirme las palabras que me muero por oír.
 #Triss

Smile for smile

If all of us receive only what we give, world would be a more just place- And we would be better people. Anyone want to receive bad things. Anyone like be used, but many people do it. Of course, if they know that someday they will suffer it, maybe they would thing two times before.
And not, I'm not defending eye for eye. In that case, all of us would be blind, me the first. I defend the "smile for smile" that I know I have just invented. I defend optimism as way of life, solidarity as flag and friendship as religion  
But that friendship must be the real one. That friendship that doesn't end the day you haven't got a test, or you understood the lesson the first time. If friendship for you is that, sorry, you don't need a friend, you need a teacher. And for classes, I collect. I don't refer also to that friendship only exists when you're bad, looking for a piece of advice with that person you want, or simply you have one of that days when you only want to cry. In that case, you need a kleenex better than a friend.
I defend the friendship of be there always. Of share laughs, dreams, secrets and tears. Friendship of today for you, tomorrow for me. Of it doesn't matter what you've done, it doesn't matter mistakes, because if it's real, always is forgiven.  
I defend friendship which is built step by step, problem by problem. Which for more hit it receive, stand there forever. Which gives, without be waiting to receive back, but which also receive even when it doesn't deserve anything.
That friendship never dies, never disappears, never is forgotten. Friendship composed of that friends you don't change for anything. Who are loyal to you, happen what happen. Who you know are there, but you must take care, you want to take care, for not lose them. 
I'm talking about real friendship. I'm talking about what I feel, what some people feel for me. I'm talking about the feeling make me go on every morning. I'm talking about what lot of people don't know what is.

~Triss 

Unforgettable

One more day, I've made a whole ritual to try to sleep. As I'm doing since months ago. I've turned off the lights, I've downed blinds and I've tried, without any result, to read. I've tried to listen to music and to count sheep.  I've took tea, lime, hot milk and all that people have recommended me. And your image still not letting me to close my eyes in peace. 
Right now, I would wish wind howling outside to take with him all my tears, my memories and the incessant sound of your voice that haunt me in the most unexpected... and also inopportune times. 
Because I can't think in future now. My future doesn't matter if it isn't by your side. 
What I'm doing with my life? Survive, only that. Wish the day to come to see you, even in distance, for a moment. Because the hole you left inside me, it can't be filled but for you. It has your shape and your name. And nobody else fits there. 
And I hate this. I hate having to lie to myself and to others... and much more, I hate letting you to believe my lies. That you think I don't love you, that I hate you and that, at the end, I've learned how to live without you and don't to miss all your stupid crazes of which I complained... but now, I would give anything to recover it.
Because I miss you. Yeah, you, who has sunk me again and again, who has hurt me more than anyone, who has made me to pour the tears I've swore not to pour never. To you, I miss you.
And this night, I will dream awake again with your kisses and your words. I will remember one more time your touch in my back, your look in my eye, and all that words that I want to listen. I will dream awake with you, and I hope that down again, so we can to cross again in a hallway, at least for a moment.

~Triss

Tired

Today is gonna not to care what they say about me. Today I'm gonna act without thinking before, without think about the expectancies they have put on me without my permission. I'm gonna do what I really want. without thinking about consequences. Because I've already realized it doesn't worth worrying about. That talk, all people are going to talk, I do what I do. There will always be something about someone will be in disagree. And of course, they're going to talk. They will say thousand and one stories, they will tell three thousand lies, y perhaps one true. 

I will never be good for everyone, my attitude will always be bad for someone.  lguna verdad.

And today, it doesn't matter at all, I am satisfied to be good for me. Because I'm tired of being what they want me to be, of thinking what is correct to think and of strangling my feelings for not to hurt anyone. But of course, it doesn't matter if other people hurt me. 

Today I'm gonna be me, I'm gonna think only about me, and I'm gonna tell you what I feel inside. No matter what and who bother. 

Today, there aren't tears which worth, or mysteries to looking for.

And I'm not getting around it, because that's always to be cross, and we both know it. Today, I'm tired you to behave so. 

~Triss

Fate

And yes, I believe in fate. Not in that fate which says everything will be perfect , pink. No, nothing of that. Pink only are my room walls, not the whole world, and perfect, I discovered that nothing is it long time ago. 

The fate which I believe talks about everyday, it is which says everything happen for some reason. The fate we decide by our acts. 

I don't believe in inevitable fate, neither all what has to come is written somewhere. I don't believe we were must to live a life planned for someone above us, simply, I believe all that happens is for something even we don't know never for what.  

If destiny were inevitable, then it would be pointless fight. It would be much more sensible resign and accept everything that comes. 

It would be pointless illusions, dreams, hopes Nothing would be pointless. But for me, it has. I'm one of those who think that life is illusion, take risks, fail and try again. That life is based in dreams, and if no, it is no living but surviving.

So I guess that, even it is strange and contradictory, I believe in fate... but I want to write mine. 

~Triss