Hate that I love you

And don't you see that I hate this? That your games and your changes of mind get me dizzy, tired me. I hate them!

And I would like saying that I hate you, but then I would lie. I can't hate you. I hate your behaviour, your excuses and your words. I hate the "yes" of today, the "no" of tomorrow and I hate even more that, the next day, not even you to know what it will be. 
I hate the afternoon waiting for you, and I hate a lot of more you not to come.
I hate create illusions, and I hate lose them next.
I hate loving your smile, I hate shaking when you speak to me and I hate don't know how to hate you.But you, I don't hate you
And I hate that this story will repeat again and again, as an endless loop. I hate feeling stupid and not to learn even though every day I receive a new blow. I hate your constant indecision that make me feel lost.
And even more, above everything, I hate know that, if you ask me for it, I would go without thinking about for a second.

~Triss